May 6, 2013
by Zara Green
WARNING: I am not tap dancing around this subject because women have to start devoting real planning and forethought–and set real standards–when choosing their children’s fathers, if there’s going to be a dent in the number of fatherless sons and daughters.
I am not blaming women, but I am clear and unequivocal in my message to women: Your PooNannie is Your Responsibility.
It’s rare that a man who commits to a relationship, marries a woman and then has children with her, will suddenly leave and act as if the children do not exist. It’s not rare for a man to leave his wife, but to drop from his children’s lives completely – that’s rare. So there are different categories of Single Mothers; all don’t have fatherless sons and daughters.
Free Love: Slave To Your Passions
With few exceptions, unplanned pregnancies are the result of two people, usually adults exercising their right to have sex with no concern for ripple effects.
They have the adult right to sex whomever they want, whenever they want, however they want, and may even reproduce, without reason, explanation, nor commitment. However, that kind of screwing is irresponsible and it’s certainly not grown decision-making.
Friends with Benefits
Here’s the problem with this: Women are putting more emphasis on the “friend” and penis-led men are putting more emphasis on the “benefits.” The reason penis-led men don’t support their children is because they didn’t screw with the consideration, and certainly not with the intent, of parenting in mind.
Men are penis-led by nature. When the average man engages in sexual activity, he’s not thinking beyond his immediate gratification. And Momma, although they wanted you when you were making the baby, many of them resent you for having the baby.
Lady, you may not have thought beyond the act either, but you are the one whose life is altered; you are the one most likely to be left with the responsibility of a little person – a lifetime commitment.
The time to realize that a man “ain’t shit” is before he’s your baby’s daddy.
Don’t Be Quick To Lay!
Know who you’re sharing yourself with. Make sure he’s emotionally equipped and prepared to co-parent with you for the long haul, even if the two of you don’t work out. Here’s a hint: If he is not actively parenting the children he’s already sired, it is extremely unlikely that he will make an exception for any child he could potentially sire with you. Any post-pubescent male can sire a child; grown men ready, willing and able to actually father one are far less common.
Your decisions always have ripple effects. Most pregnancies aren’t planned, yet most relationships don’t last. You have to get better qualifiers for choosing who you’ll allow in your life, to sex, and to procreate with.
A man who doesn’t take the time to get to know you, but is willing and eager to sex you, is only thinking about the nut he’s about to bust in you, not the rest of you and certainly not the child he could be producing in that moment.
RAISE THE BAR!
So, maybe your baby’s daddy “ain’t shit.” Then you need to get serious about doing a better job of vetting who you lay with! UP your criteria! RAISE THE DAMN BAR! No, you didn’t make the baby by yourself, but it’s YOUR PooNannie, so it’s YOUR responsibility and in the end, for better or worse, YOUR baby, even though he helped you to produce it.
Growth is a choice; choose it now – Next Decision Better!
And until you figure it out, NO POONANNIE FOR DEADBEATS! That’s the immediate way you start to reduce the numbers of fatherless sons and daughters!
*Footnote* Not all men are penis-led. #LiveInTheGrownZone
For a daily dose of Grown, Join us in The Grown Zone!
Connect with us on these platforms:
Twitter: @GrownZone
Facebook: /GrownZone
Blog Talk Radio: /GrownZone
Instagram: @GrownZone
Google+: +GrownZone