Fidelity Is A Decision Not Based On Persuasion

Couple at bar.“A real man gives up one-night stands for a woman he can’t stand to spend one night without.”

Saw this in Social Media this morning and every time I see something like it I want to shake the women behind the posts. Women really need to THINK! Put your egos aside (yes, women are ego-driven too) and THINK because women who believe this end up jockeying for men, hurting one another and that’s not okay.

Hear this ladies, meditate on it and don’t ever forget it:

A man not committed to fidelity on general principle will NOT make an exception for you!

Stop believing that there’s something you can do, be or become that can change another person.

Women have given men a pass for being players. I’ll prove it. You accept statements like, “I’ll settle down when I find the right woman.” That’s a load of crap! It’s BULLSHIT! And women accept it. Men are players because women allow them to play. In the Grown Zone, we repeat: You don’t get what you deserve you get what you accept!

A man stops going to smorgasbords because his appetite for “all you can eat” has changed not because one of the dishes at the smorgasbord was so good that it’s all he wants to eat for the rest of his life.

Woman, you may have swaying ability; the ability to sway a man’s attention from another woman. You may be very aware of those powers, but if you were as aware of your worth, you’d never accept a swayable man.

A smart woman knows it’s a misuse of her powers and she knows that a swayable man will soon sway from her too. He’s susceptible to the bait used but not really interested in you.

When you attract a man by swaying or persuading him the pressure is always on you: to keep him satisfied and to keep his attention on you because you’ll forever know that whatever  you did to get him, the next woman who wants him only needs to do it better because you KNOW he’s baitable, thus swayable. What a miserable existence you will have created!

Hear me ladies: In the words of my father, Sam Green Sr, “There’s only one winner when you enter a man’s rotation – HIM – and no man is worth the price you’ll have to pay to compete.”

You can’t build a healthy relationship with somebody whose attention is divided. If you don’t have his undivided attention when you start you won’t gain it as you grow. Don’t you deserve sole focus? Than act like it!

man fidelity and wordsYou’re invited to Enter and LIVE in the Grown Zone.

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Stop Letting Your Penises Drive; They Are Ruining Society

Men, following their heart” A (penis-led) man will tell you anything if he thinks you’ll let him hit it, and any hole will do as long as it’s wet and warm.”–Sam Green, Sr. aka My Daddy

Men: Just because she’s willing to let you hit it, doesn’t mean you should. What seems like “free love” in a moment can wreak mental and emotional havoc on her for years to come. A woman who lays freely is typically in need of things those who lay with her are incapable of supplying.

Stop Letting Your Penis Drive

As part of his public service, mentorship and personal growth efforts, Alfred Edmond Jr. posts, on both his personal and our Grown Zone social media platforms, using the hashtag #AGrownManKnows (book pending). One of his most retweeted and favorited tweets is:

#AGrownManKnows: A king is never ruled by his appetites; a slave, always.

When you allow your penis to drive, you will indeed find sexual satisfaction, but it will ultimately be to the detriment of women, children and society as a whole–including you.

“Ain’t no such thing as free PooNannie; somebody’s paying a price for it, and when you calculate those costs, no nut is ever worth it.” — Sam Green, Sr. aka My Daddy

Here’s the thing about the price of screwing already wounded women: They haven’t yet figured out the underlying reasons for why they lay. And by the time they do, if ever, their issues have compounded, often resulting in fatherless sons and daughters.

Man, I’m asking you to do better than that. Live a more meaningful life than your next screw. Whatever you practice the most is what’s most on your mind. Being sexually satisfied is at the core of yearning. You can take care of that yourself.

When you seek out women to serve that purpose, you train yourself to objectify and womanize, creating a pattern of behaviors that will be extremely difficult to change later, when you desire a mutually exclusive, trusting, loving relationship. The habits of objectifying and womanizing are not switches you can just turn off; they become part of who you are, and that kind of living hurts people and negatively impacts society.

Start practicing now. Honor every woman, even the ones who haven’t yet learned to honor themselves. If you’ll start there, just do your part and encourage the men in your circle to do the same, you’ll make a dent in the quality of lives in your own circle.

When you honor women, you’re honoring yourself.

You’re either penis-led or a grown man. The refusal to be penis-led and sex-driven in our society takes courage. You’re not a man because you can always find somebody to screw. Any penis-led fool can do that. Now CourageUP! ManUP! #NextDecisionBetter #LiveInTheGrownZone

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To Mothers of Fatherless Sons And Daughters

WARNING: I am not tap dancing around this subject because women have to start devoting real planning and forethought–and set real standards–when choosing their children’s fathers, if there’s going to be a dent in the number of fatherless sons and daughters.

I am not blaming women, but I am clear and unequivocal in my message to women: Your PooNannie is Your Responsibility.

It’s rare that a man who commits to a relationship, marries a woman and then has children with her, will suddenly leave and act as if the children do not exist. It’s not rare for a man to leave his wife, but to drop from his children’s lives completely – that’s rare. So there are different categories of Single Mothers; all don’t have fatherless sons and daughters.

Free Love: Slave To Your Passions

FatherlessWith few exceptions, unplanned pregnancies are the result of two people, usually adults exercising their right to have sex with no concern for ripple effects.

They have the adult right to sex whomever they want, whenever they want, however they want, and may even reproduce, without reason, explanation, nor commitment. However, that kind of screwing is irresponsible and it’s certainly not grown decision-making.

Friends with Benefits

Here’s the problem with this: Women are putting more emphasis on the “friend” and penis-led men are putting more emphasis on the “benefits.” The reason penis-led men don’t support their children is because they didn’t screw with the consideration, and certainly not with the intent, of parenting in mind.

Men are penis-led by nature. When the average man engages in sexual activity, he’s not thinking beyond his immediate gratification. And Momma, although they wanted you when you were making the baby, many of them resent you for having the baby.

Lady, you may not have thought beyond the act either, but you are the one whose life is altered; you are the one most likely to be left with the responsibility of a little person – a lifetime commitment.

The time to realize that a man “ain’t shit” is before he’s your baby’s daddy.

Don’t Be Quick To Lay!

Know who you’re sharing yourself with. Make sure he’s emotionally equipped and prepared to co-parent with you for the long haul, even if the two of you don’t work out. Here’s a hint: If he is not actively parenting the children he’s already sired, it is extremely unlikely that he will make an exception for any child he could potentially sire with you. Any post-pubescent male can sire a child; grown men ready, willing and able to actually father one are far less common.

Your decisions always have ripple effects. Most pregnancies aren’t planned, yet most relationships don’t last. You have to get better qualifiers for choosing who you’ll allow in your life, to sex, and to procreate with.

A man who doesn’t take the time to get to know you, but is willing and eager to sex you, is only thinking about the nut he’s about to bust in you, not the rest of you and certainly not the child he could be producing in that moment.

RAISE THE BAR!

So, maybe your baby’s daddy “ain’t shit.” Then you need to get serious about doing a better job of vetting who you lay with! UP your criteria! RAISE THE DAMN BAR! No, you didn’t make the baby by yourself, but it’s YOUR PooNannie, so it’s YOUR responsibility and in the end, for better or worse, YOUR baby, even though he helped you to produce it.

Growth is a choice; choose it now – Next Decision Better!

And until you figure it out, NO POONANNIE FOR DEADBEATS! That’s the immediate way you start to reduce the numbers of fatherless sons and daughters!

*Footnote* Not all men are penis-led. #LiveInTheGrownZone

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Grown Motherhood: You Gave Birth Now What

Idealistic! But Realistic?

Idealistic! But Realistic?

Mother’s Day is May 11, 2013. None of us would be here without mothers, but having ovaries and a birth canal does not qualify you for motherhood.

The next few shows on Grown Zone Radio with Alfred Edmond, Jr and Zara Green, will focus on Motherhood: the good, the bad, and the ugly because there’s a lot more bad than is easy to accept.

Beautiful — Unconditional Love —  Creative  — Unselfish — Believes — Patient — Gentle  — Compassionate — Nurturing — Strength — Devoted

REALLY?????

It’s Ideal, but not Real.

There are many people who can’t buy cards off the rack because they’d be lying. All of those warm and fuzzy descriptions of mothers are not their experiences. All too often mothers don’t live up to idealistic expectations. Not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t have the skills.

“Motherly” is not Innate

While you have the adult right to screw it doesn’t make you grown nor equipped to parent. So whether your children are young, old or not yet conceived join us for this week’s show.  (Saturday, May 4, 2013 at noon, EST and you can listen on-demand if you missed it) AND NO IT’S NOT JUST FOR WOMEN.

And don’t worry. We’re focusing on mothers for the next few shows, but Father’s Day is next month – they’re next! #NoPooNannieForDeadbeats

Join us every Saturday at Noon, EST for a dose of Grown, and learn more about the Grown Zone, here.

Each week we’ll select a topic and go for what we know – NO HOLDS BARRED – because that’s how we roll! #GrownZone

We will open up the chat, so join us online or if you can’t DO CALL and listen in LIVE: (714) 364-4724. If you’re tweeting use the hastag #GrownZone.

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No PooNannie For Deadbeats

That's Messed Up!

That’s Messed Up!

You’ve got to become more discriminate about who gets access to your goods. STOP REWARDING DEADBEATS!

A man who does not support his kids has already shown you who he is.

A woman once made the argument in a salon-type setting, “If you’ve got a half decent man you should be happy.” Astonished by women’s agreement I replied, “Not unless you’re only half decent!” **crickets**

Here’s the really unfortunate part: deadbeats continue to have babies because women support them – THE DEADBEATS!

“You don’t get what you deserve you get what you accept!”

-Grown Zone

A woman who allows an only half decent man (and for many of them “half decent” is a compliment) access to her heart, home, money and/or PooNannie does not properly value herself. It’s a ugly cycle that women – the birthers and nurturers – can and must break. Ladies, Your PooNannie is YOUR responsibility!

Any man who doesn’t support his children will not take care of yours…that includes the ones you would have for him. YOU ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION! In fact, if you valued yourself properly, a man who doesn’t support his children shouldn’t get a seat at your table – CERTAINLY NOT A KEY TO YOUR POONANNIE!

If you don’t have a criteria for who gains entry, start with this!

#NoPooNannieForDeadbeats

#NoPooNannieForDeadbeats

It’s time to #RaiseTheBar ladies for yourselves and who you choose as your mates for the sake of your children and our future. It’s time to #LiveInTheGrownZone! Ladies, if you want better from a man then you must change your qualifiers.

I think the Grown Zone might just have to add #NoPooNannieForDeadbeats to our “movement” efforts! 😉

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Happy Father’s Day! Mothers: Stop Trying To Be Both, Mother and Father

Mothers can not be Fathers too! Here are 4 things that you as a mother must do in order to be the best mother, especially to your sons.

Here we grow…Grown IS Sexy! ;-)

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All the best,
Zara
Speaker, Individuality Advocate
Author of Living by Design and Living in Harmony

PooNannie Lessons From The Barbershop, Introduction Part 2

I learned early growing up in my daddy’s barbershop that my PooNannie is my responsibility! Girls, you have a responsibility and boys have a responsibility too, but you won’t take the same paths to become responsible adults.

My Daddy conditioned me to not be a boy/man’s play thing; to love me more than a I loved a boy/man. We all have different paths…none are any better than the other, they are all just different. But our experiences have a lot to do with who we are, including the decisions we make as it relates to sex. This video describes the foundation of my journey and can help you to start sorting what needs REconditioning in your life, for the rest of your journey.

As I said in Part I, I am not in any way saying that my father’s “way” is the only way, but I am saying that as a parent, you need to figure out how to communicate this message across to your children!

Here we grow…Grown IS Sexy! ;-)

If you enjoyed this, please share it with your Social Media friends.

All the best,
Zara
Speaker, Individuality Advocate
Author of Living by Design and Living in Harmony