What Is Behind The Angry Black Woman?

NO, We're NOT!

NO, We’re NOT!

So misinterpreted, so misunderstood thus so mishandled, we are.

So many things that we have the right to be angry about, but it’s not really our nature to be angry. Most are just hurt and scared; want to be accepted and loved.

Anger is for a Time; Hurt can be Forever

The reality is that hurt people, hurt people. And without the tools to deal with emotional hurts people make agreements with themselves to do whatever it takes to not feel that pain again. Out of fear walls are built, language to protect those hurts is created, and a way of being – established from that place of fear – is born. So what looks like an angry black woman is a woman who has more faith in the hurtful places of her life than joy she is currently experiencing, but that is not a life sentence.

So If It’s Not Anger What Is It?

Anger is not the problem. In fact, it’s a lie; a crutch even! Because when you really get angry you’ll stop acting out like a resistant child fueled by hurts and do something. Anger says, “I’m fed up”, “No more”; anger invokes!

When you really get angry something shifts inside that says, “I deserve better”; you change. You change how you relate to the thing that’s made you most angry: the things that have hurt you, including behaviors you’ve tolerated, what you believe about your own worth, things you do, conversations you have and the way you see the world. When that slight, but powerful shift happens you’ve tapped into a different consciousness; an awareness that you can now benefit from because you’re now forwardly focused – moving beyond the pain.

Here’s the real problem: Your environments are producing stankin’ thinkin’ and feeding your fears about being hurt and you’re attracting the same kinds of experiences – validating your beliefs.

Your experiences are indeed facts in your life, but facts don’t equal truth. The truth is that you can change what you get by shifting your consciousness – one thought at a time.

Bitter or Better?

You can’t change your past neither should that be your desire no matter how horrid, but if you don’t change how you relate to your past, bitter is what you’ll become and I’m telling you that you deserve better; a better consciousness of mind, a peaceful spirit and a joyous life.

Better is Available to You, but Only You Can Choose It


1) Allow love to abound starting with you. It’s YOUR life! Choose it – just as it is. Own it –  the good, the bad and the ugly. Change it – as long as you can breathe, it can get better!

2) Acknowledge and embrace all that is.  INCLUDING ALL OF THE GOOD that exist in the world. If you haven’t experienced much good it’s because you’ve ignored it; not welcomed it in your life. “Good” won’t force itself on you.

3) Stop defining yourself by your old experiences. As long as you keep your past in your current experiences and allow the emotions of those experiences to operate in present day the way they did when they happened you’ll remain hurt and grow bitter. Allow yourself a new experience. You are not what happened. IT happened. You lived to tell about it and to have more, different, better experiences. That moment (those moments) passed when the experience was over. You have to learn to (not get over it), but fold it in.

You won’t have “better” by forgetting your past, rather by embracing, expecting and allowing a future that you once could not imagine for yourself.

When you believe you deserve more, you really do stop allowing (in thought and in life) less.

Here’s to a new consciousness, a joyous tomorrow and a better future. Here’s to living in the Grown Zone. #NextDecisionBetter

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About Zara Green
Hi, I'm Zara Green, A "Do Better" Fanatic and Your Advocate...I'm glad you're here! As a personal growth Author and Speaker, who's Individuality & Resilience-Focused, I spark conversations that expand thinking, encourage effective & productive responses and produce better individual decision-making and better interpersonal communications in relationships. Growing Up with Zara because life is meant to be enjoyed ;-)

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