Cougar Foolery: Embrace the Grown Woman You Are
March 16, 2012 4 Comments
40 is the new 20, “they” say. I say (2) two 22’s ain’t got squat on me at 44! If you’re approaching 40 and intimidated because you think you’re losing something – stick with me, here!
While I was a rising star as a young woman with a bangin’ body (If I might say so myself, lol) – a force to reckon with, I wouldn’t trade who I am today, nor change EVEN ONE experience to go back there. I’m even over wishing I had my 22 year old bangin’ body. These voluptuous curves suit me and grown men love ’em!
You’ve got to get comfortable with your life – as it is! That includes every experience, with the body you have. You’ve got to learn how to fold it all in because it’s all purposeful. Otherwise, you’re robbing yourself of the life you’re intended to enjoy with your current realities. As my beau always says: where you’ve been is the floor, where you’re going is the ceiling and don’t ever confuse the two!
I understand that some of you had to grow up fast and feel you missed something, but there’s a way to be fulfilled at any age without retarding to activities of the youth. If that’s what you think you missed out on and now trying to recapture it, you can have fun without being foolish!
I even understand that growing older can be a weird experience with the body alone as it softens, droops, and the hair grays. And once that starts we soon learn that those are just the tip of the aging iceberg to the other things that we can not avoid: the internal stuff from menstruation to menopause and all their related natural functions and symptoms that make themselves known.
So, all you professed cougars: you can tuck, suck, stick, nip and dye but you can not stop NATURAL progression! It’s natural! And like everything else in life, the progression will be as kind to you as you are to it! And the PooNannie Phoolery…I’ll leave that for another day.
You don’t lose ANY thing as you grow older. You, actually GAIN! You gain more insight about this thing called life, if you’d only embrace every experience you’ll also see how you can use them – right where you are. At 40 you’re supposed to be able to look over the course of your life and see behaviors and attitudes that resemble a damn fool, otherwise, you’d still be one! And everybody plays the fool, sometime! It’s okay, and better that you do BEFORE 40!
By 40, you have wisdom! You may fail to honor it, but your life experience has shown you what works and what doesn’t. You may choose to ignore it and keep operating the same ways, but by 40 you KNOW that there’s a better way even if you haven’t figured out what it is or how to actualize it in your life.
Here’s the “how.”..just do it!
In most of us, there’s a switch that automatically clicks around forty. It’s like an adventurous license! Suddenly, you’re FREE! The things you used to fear, you aren’t scared of any more. The people we were taught to revere who hadn’t earned it, all of a sudden – they could kiss your happy ass! You’re doing YOU, and that’s more important than what they think about it. You’ve learned to accept who you are – good, bad, and ugly – yet embrace you!
Perspective IS everything and the only right perspective is that your life could NOT have gone any differently than it did and you are perfect as you are!
That doesn’t mean there’s no room for progress, but hell, that’s what life is – learn more and do better! Take care of yourself as best you can, accept all of you – and always making your NEXT Decision BETTER! That’s IT and that’s ALL!
For the ladies who are threatened by the 20 and 30 somethings because you believe men want eye-candy more than sense, YOU’RE RIGHT…because you believe it! But your thinking could not be more wrong and YOU ARE A MAGNET! You can only attract that which you’ve accepted as truth. But if you work on refining all that you are and embrace your value, you can also attract a man who values all of you!
I mean come on! Men have natural progressions TOO! Do you really want the man who wants a 20 something on his arm when we ALL KNOW that their natural progression is that eventually (and if you’re 40, that means now or really soon for him!) he’s not far from going graying or going bald, having love handles, stamina waning and needing Viagra!! He can have 10 twenty-year old lil’ hos on his side, he can’t fool mother nature!
Yep, I called ’em lil’ hos…because more often than not those relationships are about transactions!
Look, “that “man is sick in the head! He’s trying to recapture something. And I don’t want him! Neither will I have him. And I certainly won’t permit HIS choices to determine MY worth!
Look woman: you are beautiful and every scar, wrinkle, droop and gray hair is uniquely yours. Wear them like accessories and badges of honor because you’re still here and they represent your strength! You’ve fought the good fight and now, the world is your oyster. Sisters UNITE! Stop tearing each other down. We all have natural accessories that are uniquely us. Embrace your own and see the beauty they represent so we can, all, wear them comfortably because they look damn good on us. So let’s not dishonor them, by failing to wear them well.
If you happen to have a mutual attraction with a younger man, I’m not talking to you. You should enjoy each other, but if it’s what you seek…YOU KNOW!
I’ve never meant this more…Grown IS Sexy! 😉
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All the best,
Speaker, Individuality Advocate
Author of Living by Design and Living in Harmony