Giving Alternatives to Your Mate
October 21, 2010 4 Comments
“If you don’t, then I will” or “You do this or else” are often a tactics used to get what we want, but it’s not a good one because in the end we don’t get to control people with threats…not without consequences. To even be to the point of having to give an alternative is an indicator of other issues.
In an episode of the sitcom “Seinfeld”, Jerry is dating a woman who doesn’t like that he and his posse are greeting each other using a particular voice, and saying just one word…”Hello”.
She has her reasons for why that bothers her and told Jerry to choose between which was more important to him, saying “Hello” or being with her.
After giving it some thought and some time passed. Jerry went to her apartment, knocked on the door and when she answered the door, he answered her – with a smile and in that voice, “Hello!”
Okay so that was a little humor, but how should you handle a situation that you don’t like?
First, be open to the possibility that the issue is with you and be willing to use the opportunity to grow. Then, have a non-accusatory discussion with the person. If, after, re-evaluating your perspective you are still uncomfortable with the situation, then you simply express your desire.
This will be met with compliance, or not. If compliance, you get to continue as you were. If not, you get to decide a course of action that will make you more comfortable.
People teach you who they are; what they want – by what they do. You can’t force ANYTHING. Even if you think you are for a while, you’re just setting yourself up for a delayed and bigger disappointment.
We’re Growin’ UP…Grown IS Sexy! 😉
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