It’s YOUR Life: Choose You, Own You, Change You
March 15, 2010 4 Comments
“The only thing that anyone has is what they’ve got, and the only thing anyone can give you is what they have.” –Sam Green, Sr.
My father was saying that long before I understood what it meant, but it’s applicable in all relationships. I want to focus on THE relationship many people try to make the root cause of their adult issues.
Parents are expected to do a whole lot of things, but what children expect from them and what they are really capable of, or willing to delivering aren’t always the same…and that’s OKAY!
Life is not UNfair; it delivers the lessons that you need. It’s up to you to learn the individual lessons that life decides to teach; to become a student of life – mastering your thoughts, emotions and behaviors – learning to play the hands that life deals, successfully navigating through whatever life throws.
It’s your life, CHOOSE IT – just as it is
Regardless of who your parents are and the kind of relationship(s) you had, once you become an adult – what you got from them, you had; what you lacked, you missed, but you were no longer their responsibility, and to the degree that they continued to support you, they didn’t have to.
OWN IT – the good, the bad and the ugly
The responsibility of each person to BE a whole being, ultimately, falls on the person. You are your own responsibility. Parents don’t always give you what you need; they can only give you what they’ve got, and for whatever duration they choose.
CHANGE IT – as long as you can breathe and learn…it can get better
Once adult age it’s up to you to now get what you need.
Here’s the thing about parenting that might seem unfair; no matter what you give, there will still be things that your children will lack. The same ways that you came to realize where your parents “fell short”, and have hopefully filled those gaps for yourself, your children will have to do the same.
Here’s the reality about parenting; there’s no “falling short” there’s only giving what you’ve got, and/or what you choose. It is IMPOSSIBLE to fulfill all of your children’s needs; one person is not equipped to fulfill all of another person’s needs – not in ANY relationship.
As for would’ve, could’ve, or worse should’ve, and ought’ve (yeah, I know I made that last one fit)…If your parents, or you as a parent, really “could’a”, then they/you “would’a”; and there’s no sense, nor purpose in waddling in what other’s (including your children) believe you “should’a”, worse “ought have”, given.
IT is what IT is, and nobody owes you anything
Life gives daily opportunities to L.E.G UP! LEARN something more, EMBRACE what is – respond to circumstances productively (rather than react emotionally), and to GROW; to do something different than you would ordinarily that will yield a greater result.
YOU are your OWN responsibility, PERIOD!
Kick ‘n Scream if you must, but We’re Growin’ UP Y’all…Grown IS Sexy!
Doing IT Better with ZARA! NEXT Decision…BETTER than your LAST !